Are Friends And Family Holding You Back

[Scott Tousignant]

I would like to know if you've experienced friends and family members consciously or subconsciously attempting to hold you back from succeeding on your fat loss journey.

It can be as subtle as a friend saying, "oh come on. A few slices of pizza won't kill you, you only live once." Or, "Why are you eating salad. Are you a rabbit?"

I see it happen with Angie. Family members make subtle comments about her weight and wondering why she's trying to improve. And here she is in the best shape of her life at 5'5" and 124 pounds. She even had a family member tease her and call her Ana, short for anorexic. I guarantee that Angie eats more food that this person, it's just healthier choices.

These are times when you have to realize that you are in this for yourself. You want to be the best that you can be and you aren't going to settle for other peoples lower standards. Plus deep down, I believe that most people want to be experiencing what you are as you follow the path to optimal health.

I know that I feel better, look better, and life totally rocks where I'm at right now. I'm not going to let someone else's comments change my perception of how I look and feel. It certainly helps when I hear how our journey has inspired others to take action and become the best that they can be. That's what I focus on and it becomes easier to brush off these subtle comments.

It's usually pretty easy to brush it off because the people making the comments are usually ticking time bombs who should be more concerned with their health than mine.

I'm beginning to respond politely and offer to help them achieve the same energy and zest for life that I'm experiencing right now. This is much better than getting caught up in a discussion about how they are trying to sabotage me.

I raise this question because I see it happen more often with women than men. I also bring it up because I want you to realize that you don't have to give up your good friends even though they may be trying to hold you back. When you have a community like we are building here and surround yourself with loads of supportive people, it becomes much easier to handle the smaller groups that you hang out with. And hopefully they follow your lead.

I'd love to hear your stories about people holding you back and how you deal with it.

[Suzette]

First off, Jackie, thanks for your kind comments on my other forum post. sorry about the "friend" who doesn't want to be around someone who wants to be healthy. it is frustrating.
As to this question, I get all kinds of comments nearly daily for a long time now since losing weight. I work in a public place where the same people come in all the time and "know" who I am. I mostly get compliments and take most comments as a compliment. but I do get the unintentional (i believe) sabatoge from one of my coworkers who makes the comments...oh only one piece of candy(etc.) won't hurt. I also feel I get sabbatoged at home by my husband. NOw he is very proud of me and my efforts to lose weight and brags about me to his friends/coworkers. But here is the thing...when he does the grocery shopping he'll buy junk that he knows I "shouldn't" eat and says, "just don't eat it"...that is not so easily done. I do so much better when the junk isn't in the house. when it is there in plain sight it makes it way more difficult!
After many years of avoiding having my picture taken, I now take my picture nearly everyday(for my blog) and actually enjoy it!

[Juanita]

Well, they hold me back by the mere fact that whenever we get together it's ALWAYS for a meal. And I don't have enough self discipline to always order the salad when I want to eat whatever I want to eat.

Or at home I'm fine. then I go out of town to visit my daughter and her husband where they eat a lot of pasta meals. I eat what they eat, ice cream and all. I gain while I'm there.

then I come home and I can't get back on track. I don't expect everyone to change their family meals for me.

[Eszter]

I am concerned because I cannot deal with my husband's comments. He is very fat in addition to being terribly unfit, perhaps he has high blood pressure too (we don't know this for sure as it has happened only once. Unfortunately he has been careful not to have his blood pressure checked ever since. :( ) He is not only making comments but he does not support me at all. Of course in theory he would like me to be thin, and feel good. However when it comes to eating right or exercising, he just doesn't help me or worse he even hinders me. I think partly he does this unconsciously.

If I ask him to help me a little bit he tell me to stop nagging him.This is one of the reasons I want to lose weight so much. Perhaps when he sees me in my new body, he changes his views about healthy living.

[chriss_polson]

It's a funny thing, because my husband says he wants me to get my weight down, but I find his support to be really inconsistant. He doesn't shove cake at me or pizza. But, mostly I feel like when I am noticing the differences in my body after a few weeks and I try to talk about, (looking for encouragement), he just nods and smiles or says yeah. Sometimes I wonder if its because he's seen me go thru falling off the fat loss wagon a few times, that he doubts my ability to follow thru. Either way i find it hard to get him revved up about my fitness. He doesn't want to lift weights with me, he says he works all day the last thing he wants to do is workout.

My 13 year old daughter on the other hand is always cheering me on. She goes for walks with me, we do yoga together, and go for bike rides.
As for my family its a lot of talk and no action. They have all watched me go from 220 lbs. and a size 18-20 to 155 lbs. and a size 8-10.

Chriss

[Liz Salter]

I had a friend that would always invite me over in the morning after my bus run. She knew that this was the time I liked to exercise. I got rid of her because I felt she wasn't helping me at all. She would make me angry, I would eat. I hated answering the phone. I hated the person I was becoming with her. Good riddens!